Saturday, June 28, 2008

Our choices, between:
Duty, Fear, and Freedom

When taking a decision, we are usually driven by many personal motives. The types of such motives say a lot about our personalities, environments and upbringing.

Say you have a choice of careers, for example.

Some might think I have to work as a lawyer because this is what my Mom has always dreamed of.

Hence, we have that sense of “duty” towards our families, friends, society, religion, or political party...etc. regardless of how “passionate” we are about that choice.

Let’s look at another decision like choosing a major in school for example.

Some may think that a major in “Finance” would secure a better life financially than… I don’t know… “Literature”.

So we make decisions based on “fear” from the unknown, adventurous, mysterious, results!

Sometimes it takes reaching a certain age, or a particular event where we stop to ask ourselves:
What choices did we make to achieve a dream?
What choices were really liberated from the sense of duty? Or fear?
What choices of ours were really….FREE?


Do you know what motivates your decisions?

19 comments:

Mohammad Al-Yousifi said...

speaking about careers

my dad has a degree in electrical engneering and in MD

and he works in real estate now:P

فريج سعود said...

لا بالله راحوا فيها الاسبان

جنة الحواس said...

يا إالهي ! اش سويتي فيني ؟

This issue is really confusing .

I'm staring at ur post and thinking of the motives behind the main decisions in my life .

I think most of the main decisions I've made so far are free . But then ,continuing with some of them is usually a choice that's controlled by fear or duty !

Hmmm , it's complicated .. I'm still thinking of ur last question .

::


What choices did we make to achieve a dream ?

هالسؤال يعور

لأنه أحس إنه وايد عندي أحلام بس تخليت عنها

I'll stop here .

Thanks for the deep post !

من زمان ما قريت بوست خلاني أفكر

ولاّدة سابقاً ... رانيا السعد ...رانية المنيفي حسب الأوراق الرسمية said...

جوابي:
fear

حياتي كلها عبارة عن سلسلة قرارات ومغامرات تشبه لعبة البحث عن الكنز...والكنز عندي : الأمان

ولعل المتابع لحياتي يجدني مغامرة ومقامرة بال غين والقاف معاً إلا أن الدافع دائماً وأبداً هو الخوف

Arfana said...

ma6goog,

هذا الوالد وهذي خياراته.. بغض النظر عن دوافعه

السؤال لك إنت مع كل حبي وتقديري للوالد

؟


فريج سعود

وين الخمسين سيادتك؟؟

Arfana said...

broke

though this is only the second time you comment here (yes I have a memory of an elephant), and though I never commented in your blog (adri ma asti7ee 3ala wayhee), I think we have a lot in common.

As for the hurtful question, I ask myself that every day.

I seem to focus on "immediate" objectives.. and I may have lots of "fantacies"

but i'm ashamed to admit:

I don't have a dream!

Arfana said...

ولادة

الخوف ما يعيب.. والمغامرات حلوة

السؤال

أين حلمك أنت؟ بعيدا عن الخوف والاحساس بالذنب؟

عندما يتحدث الناس عن الهجرة على سبيل المثال.. يرد عليهم الآخرون بالواجب الوطني.. أو الواجب تجاه الوالدين.. أو الخوف من الغربة

لكن بغض النظر عن السابق كله.. هل تحلمين بالهجرة؟

ولو كانت الإجابة نعم.. ماذا فعلتي لتحققي هذا الحلم؟

هذا مجرد مثال على ما يدور في بالي وليس الهدف من البوست

:-*

حلم جميل بوطن أفضل said...

This happens when you are free from emotions. May god let me love the beloved ones more and more.

I do not want to be free. I want to make the bond stronger.

White Wings said...

as a younger girl, it was my father, his approving smile :)
I always wanted to be a great drama actress and play lady Macbeth, my father did not think very highly of that idea :)
i like what i do now, but you can always sense the theatrical in me

UmmEl3yal said...

hi there,

Check this new blog , its promising :)

http://nawaqees.blogspot.com/

As for motives, allow me for a short lecture ;)

Fear (or avoidance of stressors, huger, isolation, cold .. etc). Truly "free" motivation is impossible in a social set up. There is ALWAYS considiration to others (Duty) and fear of social (or legal) consequences (Fear again).

Sorry 3la el e6ala ;)

At this age I am no longer motivated by fear. But duty, yes. And then freedom when there is room :)

Love

UmmEl3yal said...

Correction:

Fear (or avoidance of stressors, huger, sickness, isolation, cold .. etc) is the root of all Human motives.

لذا اقتضى التنويه :)

Shurouq said...

Hot guys motivate me.

The fear of not having one. The duty of obtaining one. And the freedom to choose (and lose) one.

Shurouq said...

Freedom I think. O 3ala golat Martha Stewart: "It's a good thing"

Shurouq said...

Hmm... Ummel3yal has a point though. At the end of the day, it's always about the fear factor.

Shurouq said...

You know what.. I'll sleep on it and come back with a better answer.

Temetwir said...

your question begs another: when we ask "what choices of ours were really free", do we mean the exact same thing as when asking "what choices of ours are based on that which we like?", passion as u called it.
ya3ni is freedom here, submitting to your likings and inclinations?
or is it by defining parameters set by others (methel ma thekarteehom), and then crossing them to make a point? given of course that u do not subscribe to said parameters

freedom to me is when thought matches action .. mo shar6 following or preceding it, just matching it..
as for knowing what motivates me, it's living up to a thought tied with the past, which i chose to believe is worthy of aspiring to not so long ago

Mok said...

هل انتي بخير؟

مختفيه

Arfana said...

حلم جميل

ربنا يزيد ويبارك


whity,

theater suits you very much :-)
i had a similar thought when i was 11 and was gone by 13 lol

ummel3yal

khosh lecture :-p
the word "impossible" though, is daring!

Arfana said...

shorouq,

lol badda3tay

"hot" is hard to define these days


temi boy,

how wonderful would it be if things matched the way you've proposed! Unfortunately, they rarely do! :-)

mok,

life is just busy